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Standardized Testing Bias

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Report: Someone Needs To Get Chips And Dip Away From Area Man

EDISON, NJ—Repeatedly emphasizing that the ruffled potato chips and accompanying French onion dip were just too good, a report released Thursday confirmed that someone needs to get them away from local partygoer Ian Ashcraft before he eats the whole thing.

Obama Resigns From Presidency After Michelle Lands Dream Job In Seattle

‘It’s Time I Made Some Sacrifices For This Family,’ Reports President

WASHINGTON—Saying his wife of 24 years had already sacrificed so much for the sake of his career and that it was time to return the favor, Barack Obama announced Wednesday his resignation as president of the United States of America, effective immediately, following news that Michelle Obama had landed her dream job in Seattle.

High School Nurse Getting Pretty Good At Spotting Morning Sickness

FAIRFIELD, ME―Having seen more students than she can remember come into her office with complaints of nausea and vomiting over the years, Fairfield High School nurse Sarah Bromti told reporters Wednesday she’s getting to the point where she can identify morning sickness without much trouble.
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Standardized Testing Bias

Debate is raging over the SAT and other standardized college tests, which many contend are biased against minorities and the poor. What do you think about altering or abolishing such tests?
  • "I see no reason why any high-school senior shouldn't be able to answer questions about basic yachting terminology."

    Gus Browning
    Accountant
  • "We must make these tests less biased so that qualified minority students will have an opportunity to not be able to afford college."

    Danielle Ross
    Systems Analyst
  • "There are many factors that are not adequately taken into account in standardized tests, such as who gots the dopest sneakers."

    Carl Kukkonen
    Engineer
  • "Everyone talks about the minorities, but no one ever talks about those of us who are terrified of paper."

    Ellyn Archer
    Florist
  • "I was discriminated against during the college-testing process because I come from a culture that is opposed to filling in circles completely and with firm pressure."

    Christopher Rau
    Waiter
  • "I think the tests should be tailored to the strengths of each individual student. I, for example, would have aced the SAT if it focused less on spatial equations and more on Queensrÿche."

    Donny Slaim
    Delivery Driver

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