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Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

Black Man Out Of Work

WASHINGTON—Joining the ranks of the unemployed at a time when joblessness remains stubbornly high among African Americans, 55-year-old local black man Barack Obama has lost the full-time job he has held for the past eight years, sources confirmed Friday.

Departing Obama Tearfully Shoos Away Loyal Drone Following Him Out Of White House

‘Go On Now, Git,’ Says Former President

WASHINGTON—Stopping and turning around as he made his way across the South Lawn after hearing the unmanned aerial vehicle hovering just feet behind him, outgoing President Barack Obama tearfully shooed away a loyal MQ-9 Reaper drone attempting to follow him out of the White House, sources confirmed Friday.
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Standing Meetings Can Increase Productivity

A new study has found that employees have more productive group meetings when they stand, suggesting that companies should adopt furniture designs and layouts that discourage sitting. What do you think?

  • “Next thing you know, they'll say ‘listening’ and ‘writing things down’ will increase productivity too.”

    Britni Pierce Cue Card Holder
  • “Did we really spend 10,000 years building a civilization where we get to sit all the time just to give that up?”

    Jesse Kagan Farmers Market Planner
  • “I don't know about that, but it does sound better than ‘we don't have enough chairs.’”

    Shane Carmichael Sales Analyst

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