adBlockCheck

Recent News

‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.
End Of Section
  • More News

‘Star Wars: Episode VII’ Filming Angers Bird Experts

After production on Stars Wars: Episode VII moved to a remote island off the coast of Ireland, ornithologists and wildlife conservationists expressed anger at J.J. Abrams and the production crew over concerns that filming disrupted the mating rituals of local bird populations like puffins and peregrine falcons. What do you think?

  • “What these bird lovers need to realize is that Star Wars fans will kill every bird in sight if this delays the film’s release.”

    Steve Galindez Dentures Molder
  • “Still, you have to admire J.J. Abrams for actually going out and disrupting nature rather than just CGI-ing it.”

    Amy Menapace Basket Weaver
  • “I’m just excited that Star Wars might feature two puffins going at it in the background.”

    Chuck Hedley Unemployed

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close