Starbucks Adding Grilled Cheese To Menu

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Vol 50 Issue 23

Study: ‘Cool Kids’ Struggle As Adults

According to a decade-long study that tracked hundreds of teenagers into adulthood, students who were considered “cool kids” in middle school turned out to have more problems as adults, such as substance abuse and criminal behavior.

Facebook Lifts Ban On Breastfeeding Photos

After drawing criticism for prohibiting photos of breastfeeding mothers under its no-nipples policy, Facebook has quietly lifted the ban and started allowing mothers to post breastfeeding photos without risk of removal, though all other pictures of nipple...

God’s Will Only Thing Keeping AC Unit In Window

States offer millions in tax breaks to any person who says ‘high-tech jobs,’ a child is entertained for five minutes by a toy that will take 1 million years to biodegrade, and God’s will is the only thing keeping an AC unit in a window.

Aunt Enters Ninth Year Of Raving About ‘Wicked’

OGDENSBURG, NY—Praising its vibrant visual effects and declaring multiple songs “absolute showstoppers,” local aunt Treena Warner, 53, informed extended family members for the ninth consecutive year that the Broadway musical Wicked...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Partying

Comfort

  • Entire Room Mentally Shaving Man's Facial Hair

    WHITE PLAINS, NY—Stunned and visibly offended by the sheer volume of facial hair visible before them, every single customer at local diner Hubbard's this morning was reportedly eyeing 28-year-old fellow patron David Kellerman and mentally shaving of...

Starbucks Adding Grilled Cheese To Menu

To compete with rivals like Dunkin’ Donuts that sell lunch items, Starbucks has announced they will add grilled cheese sandwiches to their menu for $5.25, in addition to a turkey pesto panini on focaccia for $5.95. What do you think?

  • “I can’t wait to figure out an annoying way to order this.”

    Tracy Liffmann
    Floating Teacher
  • “Aw, I always thought Starbucks and Dunkin’ Donuts were friends.”

    Fred Richert
    CSI Photographer
  • “I’m glad they’re sticking with their core strength of things you could easily make yourself if you just woke up 10 minutes earlier in the morning.”

    Michael Clements
    Lobbyist
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