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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Holiday

Starbucks Closing Stores

After posting the weakest sales period in the company's history, Starbucks announced that it would be closing 100 stores. What do you think?
  • "Where am I supposed to go now to seem important, harried, and in a huge rush?"

    Cathy Ripp
    Systems Analyst
  • "Instead of closing stores, they can boost sales by going back to basics and focusing on their original business of opening stores."

    Keith Pettersen
    Janitor
  • "See, I knew that neighborhood boycott I organized in 1991 would work."

    Paul Oppenheimer
    Rare Stamp Seller
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