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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Starbucks Introduces 31-Ounce Cup

On Tuesday, Starbucks introduced its largest-ever drink size, a 31-ounce cup for iced beverages called the Trenta. What do you think?

  • "So decadent. All that ice."

    Dawn Jones Warehouse Manager
  • "Finally. I don't know how they thought we were supposed to wash down their 5-pound, giantasco-sized scones."

    Corey Letts Systems Analyst
  • "Is it me, or do people just not have to pee like they used to?"

    Joe Donovan Unemployed
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