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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Starbucks Removes Beetle-Based Coloring

Starbucks said it would stop using cochineal beetles to color its strawberry Frappuccinos and switch to a tomato-based food coloring. What do you think?

  • “It's a shame they can't just make a strawberry Frappuccino out of some kind of naturally red fruit.”

    Penny Emge Systems Analyst
  • "Great. Now how am I supposed to be the weird guy at Starbucks who impresses girls with his knowledge of what's really in their strawberry Frappucino?"

    Winston Reninger Doffer
  • "Thank goodness cockroaches just crawl right into Dunkin' Donuts coffee machines every day so that I can still get my morning insect fix."

    Blaine Foree Screwhead Polisher
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