adBlockCheck

Starbucks To Sell Handcrafted Sodas

Top Headlines

Recent News

360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Starbucks To Sell Handcrafted Sodas

Following recent moves to add more lunch offerings, Starbucks has announced that it will soon begin offering individually crafted, made-to-order sodas from the beverage brand Fizzio, which will come in the flavors Spiced Root Beer, Golden Ginger Ale, and Lemon Ale. What do you think?

  • “Finally, there’s somewhere to get a decent lemon ale.”

    Cassidy Logan Board Game Designer
  • “I don’t need to hear the particulars. Just get the sugar in my body.”

    Evan Finch Construction Supervisor
  • “They couldn’t have thrown the word ‘vintage’ in there somewhere?”

    Andrew Marcus Marketing Assistant

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close