adBlockCheck

Recent News

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
End Of Section
  • More News

Starbucks To Sell Handcrafted Sodas

Following recent moves to add more lunch offerings, Starbucks has announced that it will soon begin offering individually crafted, made-to-order sodas from the beverage brand Fizzio, which will come in the flavors Spiced Root Beer, Golden Ginger Ale, and Lemon Ale. What do you think?

  • “Finally, there’s somewhere to get a decent lemon ale.”

    Cassidy Logan Board Game Designer
  • “I don’t need to hear the particulars. Just get the sugar in my body.”

    Evan Finch Construction Supervisor
  • “They couldn’t have thrown the word ‘vintage’ in there somewhere?”

    Andrew Marcus Marketing Assistant
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close