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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Starr Asks Fans Not To Write

Saying he no longer has time to respond, drummer Ringo Starr announced that he would not accept any more fan mail or objects to be signed after Oct. 20. What do you think?
  • "But it's not just Ringo. I've been writing to George Harrison, and he hasn't responded, either."

    Charles Bent Systems Analyst
  • "Oh, man, then I better hurry over there with this subpoena."

    Carrie Masterson Process Server
  • "Well, that's the end of the Ringo Starr trade. At last I can sell my station wagon and not have to sit in the hot sun at flea markets all summer anymore."

    Jeff Ridges Flea Market Vendor
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