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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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State Department Spokesman Ousted

P.J. Crowley, a spokesman for the State Department, was forced to resign following comments he made at MIT about the alleged mistreatment of imprisoned Wikileaks source Pfc. Bradley Manning. What do you think?

  • "This is why I never talk about someone who I know for a fact is being abused. It always causes way too much drama."

    Rick Allison Railroad Car-Inspector
  • "I got fired from my job for the same type of thing, only it was for pointing out that there were a lot of people taking 35-minute lunches besides Jenny and me."

    Lola Marino Unemployed
  • "Hey, I don't have a problem helping the government lie about torturing its own citizens. Can I have his job?"

    Wallace Kenney Abstractor

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