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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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State Of The Union

President Bush delivered his fifth State Of The Union address last night, promising affordable health care and criticizing Americans for being addicted to oil. What do you think?
  • "I was glad to hear about the American Competitiveness Initiative, which will strengthen our children's future by doubling the nation's dodgeball budget."

    Heidi Wolf Quality-Control Agent
  • "They were brave to invite Iraq war vets like Rex the dog, especially given his anti-war stance."

    Stuart Rossmiller Bellman
  • "What's all this about alternative energy and encouraging creativity? I voted for an oil man, not Jimmy Carter!"

    Ken Thiele Aeronautical Engineer

More from this section

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.

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