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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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State Of The Union

The President delivered his State of the Union Address last night. What do you think?
  • "We're at war? This is the first I've heard of it."

    Kathryn Siegel Firefighter
  • "It's unfortunate that he ran out of time before he got to talk about Katrina."

    Bert Kolb Systems Analyst
  • "The way the president singled out American heroes like the basketball player and the video lady really made me think about how I need to renew my subscription to Reader's Digest."

    David Karlin Tunnel Engineer

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Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.

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