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State Of The Union Could Coincide With 'Lost' Premiere

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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State Of The Union Could Coincide With 'Lost' Premiere

Fans of the show Lost were up in arms when it was announced that President Obama's State of the Union address might preempt the show's season premiere. What do you think?
  • "Hopefully, the speech will be just as suspenseful and tantalizingly inconclusive."

    Chance Stefanovich Bar Manager
  • "I don't give a shit. I stopped watching Lost after the second season and quit paying attention to the State of the Union address during Reagan's second term."

    Pauline Shallcross Greeter
  • "That's cool with me. I'll still invite everyone over, but instead of drinking each time Des says 'brotha' or the smoke monster appears, we'll drink each time Obama says 'responsibility' or they cut to Lieberman."

    Chuck Trice Systems Analyst

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