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State Of The Union Could Coincide With 'Lost' Premiere

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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State Of The Union Could Coincide With 'Lost' Premiere

Fans of the show Lost were up in arms when it was announced that President Obama's State of the Union address might preempt the show's season premiere. What do you think?
  • "Hopefully, the speech will be just as suspenseful and tantalizingly inconclusive."

    Chance Stefanovich Bar Manager
  • "I don't give a shit. I stopped watching Lost after the second season and quit paying attention to the State of the Union address during Reagan's second term."

    Pauline Shallcross Greeter
  • "That's cool with me. I'll still invite everyone over, but instead of drinking each time Des says 'brotha' or the smoke monster appears, we'll drink each time Obama says 'responsibility' or they cut to Lieberman."

    Chuck Trice Systems Analyst

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