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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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States Slashing Arts Budgets

Facing fiscal crisis, a number of states—including Texas, Wisconsin, and Kansas—are cutting their arts budgets or eliminating them altogether. What do you think?

  • "Suits me fine. Kansas's state seal has become a little edgy for my taste."

    Katy Raimondi Systems Analyst
  • "I guess Wisconsin state senator Scott Fitzgerald will have to take those Nagels down from his office."

    Martin Smith Safety Manager
  • "Good. Art sucks."

    Eric Heller Table Hand

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