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‘Stay The Course’ No More

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How Fashion Trends Arise

With the growing popularity of “fast fashion,” or designs that move quickly from the runway to retail chains, many wonder how their favorite styles first arise. The Onion breaks down the process step by step

SpaceX’s Plan To Colonize Mars

SpaceX founder Elon Musk continues to lay the groundwork to attempt the human colonization of Mars. Here’s a step-by-step guide to his plan:

Bill Clinton Resting Up To Sit Upright At Next Debate

CHAPPAQUA, NY—Stating that the former commander-in-chief had his sights squarely set on next Sunday, spokespeople for the Hillary for America campaign informed reporters Wednesday that Bill Clinton is currently resting up in preparation for another evening of sitting upright at the next presidential debate.

Cyclist Clearly Loves Signaling Turns

MILWAUKEE—Judging by the firm outward thrust of the woman’s arm and the length of times she held the gestures, witnesses confirmed Wednesday that a local bicycle rider clearly loves signaling turns.

Fact-Checking The First Presidential Debate

Addressing issues ranging from national security to trade to their personal controversies, Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton and Republican nominee Donald Trump squared off in the first presidential debate Monday. The Onion takes a look at the validity of their bolder claims:
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‘Stay The Course’ No More

According to reports, the Bush Administration will no longer use the phrase ‘stay the course’ when talking about the war in Iraq. What do you think?
  • “The new ‘Hang in there, baby!’ army poster picturing a cat in fatigues is a delightful replacement.”

    Lee Stevens Saddle Repairman
  • “Maybe they’ll continue to phase out every sound bite until they stop talking about it at all.”

    Darrin Fields Nurse's Aide
  • “Can I still say it?”

    Roberta Kingsley Pharmacist

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