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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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Stealth Bomber Being Retired

The revolutionary $45 million nearly radar-invisible F-117A Nighthawk, better known as the Stealth Bomber, is being phased out of existence by the military by 2007. What do you think?
  • "I, for one, think the Conspicuous Bomber is a terrible idea for a replacement."

    Sara Hamilton Taxidermist
  • "Retiring at the age of 20? Damn, I wish I were an aeronautical killing machine."

    Antonio Giancarlo Website Designer
  • "So this is the thanks it gets after all these years of razing villages for the Pentagon?"

    Tom Dickie Oral Surgeon

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