adBlockCheck

Recent News

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
End Of Section
  • More News

Stem-Cell Science Vetoed

President Bush executed his first veto since entering office on a bill supporting stem-cell research. What do you think?
  • "Maybe Bush would pass the bill if, instead of research, the stem cells would be used for torture."

    Susan Faden Systems Analyst
  • "If God wanted to cure or treat diseases affecting 100 million people, he would've put a sane person in the Oval Office."

    Ray Kiley Bar Back
  • "To Bush's credit, the ailing and enfeebled can't vote, let alone fund a Republican campaign."

    Mitchell Goldberg Lawyer
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close