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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.
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Stephen Hawking: Artificial Intelligence Could Spell End For Mankind

In a column inspired by the sci-fi film Transcendence, physicist Stephen Hawking wrote that it would be a huge mistake to dismiss the threat of artificial intelligence, cautioning that the rise of A.I. could be the “biggest event in human history” and possibly the last. What do you think?

  • “Oh, so suddenly Stephen Hawking is some big expert.”

    Colton Brewer Shipping Manager
  • “Fifty bucks says global warming kills us first.”

    Gail Wilczek Unemployed
  • “So did he think Transcendence was good, or what?”

    Aiden Russell Sandwich Artist

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