adBlockCheck

Recent News

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Notable Female Writers Throughout History

Jane Austen died 200 years ago today, but she continues to be widely read and influential to today’s writers. The Onion highlights some of the most notable female authors throughout history.
End Of Section
  • More News

Stephen Hawking Warns Of Aliens

In a new documentary, celebrity physicist Stephen Hawking says that while there are almost certainly other life forms in the universe, we should avoid contact with them lest they decide to strip our planet of its resources. What do you think?

  • "Oh, fuck…Hawking hasn't gone Scientologist on us, has he?"

    Sara Didier Instrument Assembler
  • "Alien ladies, alien ladies. There's enough of me to go around all our solar systems and stuff."

    Steve von Bohlen Systems Analyst
  • "He's only saying that because, if aliens did invade, he’d have the hardest time running away."

    Jonathan Klug Oculist

More from this section

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close