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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Steroid Bust Nets 124

The DEA participated in an international steroid sweep that resulted in the arrest of 124 people, as well as the seizure of 11.4 million doses of drugs. What do you think?
  • "Tell me who's responsible for this outrage so I can beat them with the arm I just ripped off."

    Hilda Wallace Car Alarm Installer
  • "That's too bad. All of the steroid users are going to look so weak and unappealing now."

    Bryan Kanable Systems Analyst
  • "Our prisons are overcrowded enough as it is without going after bulkier criminals."

    Paul Stibbe Coat Check Attendant
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