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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Steroid Bust Nets 124

The DEA participated in an international steroid sweep that resulted in the arrest of 124 people, as well as the seizure of 11.4 million doses of drugs. What do you think?
  • "Tell me who's responsible for this outrage so I can beat them with the arm I just ripped off."

    Hilda Wallace Car Alarm Installer
  • "That's too bad. All of the steroid users are going to look so weak and unappealing now."

    Bryan Kanable Systems Analyst
  • "Our prisons are overcrowded enough as it is without going after bulkier criminals."

    Paul Stibbe Coat Check Attendant

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