Steve Jobs Dead

In This Section

Vol 47 Issue 40

Apple User Acting Like His Dad Just Died

BOSTON—Calling the death a “tragic loss” and saying he was “truly devastated by the news,” self-described Apple product loyalist Eric Cavanaugh is treating the passing of the company’s former CEO Steve Jobs as if his fucking dad just died, sources confirmed Thursday.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Healthy Eating

Technology

Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Steve Jobs Dead

Apple announced on its website yesterday that company founder Steve Jobs had died. What do you think?

  • “I hope Apple remembered to ask him for a few more ideas.”

    Tom Crecine
    Car Detailer
  • "iCan't believe he's gone. Hey, when you run this, can you put a lowercase 'i' in front of it, so it looks like an Apple product name?"

    Don Tevanian
    Enameler
  • "I'm already getting tired of that commercial where John Hodgman brags about how he's a PC and is alive."

    Irene Mandich
    Pad Maker
Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More