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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Steve Jobs Resigns

Said to be in poor health, Apple CEO Steve Jobs stepped down late Wednesday. What do you think?

  • “I thought I saw a new CEO in the Apple Store window display.”

    Douglas Yates Dealer-Compliance Representative
  • “I guess he just finally had to face the facts: The Samsung Galaxy Tab is a superior product.”

    Rick Sullivan Night Auditor
  • “Oh, jeez, for a second there I thought you said Barnes & Noble CEO William J. Lynch, Jr. Thank God the future of the Nook is still in his visionary hands.”

    Krysten Ekenberg Retort Operator

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