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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Stewart's Prison Sentence

The nation awaits Martha Stewart's June 17 sentencing, which will reveal how much time she spends in prison. What do you think?
  • "Martha's headed to jail? Her emotions must be running the gamut from taut-lipped pseudo-WASP rage to unhealthy denial."

    Bruce Bennett Systems Analyst
  • "She's just going to learn how to be a better insider trader from all the other inmates."

    Kathy Henderson Secretary
  • "I'll be able to sleep easier knowing that another motivated, powerful woman is off the streets."

    Steve Woods Referee
  • "It's about time we cracked down on white-collar criminals without political connections."

    Willi Cooper Usher
  • "The woman is about to go to prison, yet her site still charges 39 bucks for a goddamn egg-shaped beeswax candle?"

    Beverly Ross Window Trimmer
  • "Hey, did anyone say how funny it would be if Martha decorated her jail cell in some elaborate way? Oh."

    Nicholas Coleman Anesthesiologist

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