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Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.

Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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Strokes On Rise In Young And Middle-Aged

Since 1995, the number of strokes among Americans age 15 to 34 has risen 51 percent for men and 17 percent for women. What do you think?

  • "That's encouraging. I really have a thing for ladies with right-side-dominant motor function, and it’s never been easy to meet them in my age group."

    Marc Valensi Systems Analyst
  • "Similarly, the number of people receiving $5 bills and a secondhand greeting card on their birthdays has spiked nearly 90 percent."

    Renée Hammond Drafter
  • "It's time that Billy Squier comes to terms with the fact that his song affects more people than simply those givin’ him the business all night long."

    Todd Fraiture Unemployed

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