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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Student-Loan Interest Cut

The House of Representatives voted to cut interest rates on certain student loans last week. What do you think?
  • "But the only excitement I have in my life is the cat-and-mouse game I play with my student loan officer."

    Georgia Cummings Systems Analyst
  • "I can't wait to tell my loan officer that I'll be paying back my loan two weeks earlier than my previously stated goal date of never."

    Jeffrey Cain Referee
  • "As this will inevitably entice many to purchase more education than they can afford, please let me know when I can buy one of those fancy educated brains at foreclosure."

    Robert Loehman Body Piercer
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