Student-Loan Interest Cut

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Local Household Announces Plans To Overdo Halloween Again

HIGHLAND PARK, IL—Having hauled over a dozen boxes of lights and plastic decorations as well as a large black-cat-shaped lawn inflatable from storage, members of the Hutchcroft family announced to neighbors from their front yard Thursday their plan to completely overdo Halloween again this year.

Student-Loan Interest Cut

The House of Representatives voted to cut interest rates on certain student loans last week. What do you think?
  • "But the only excitement I have in my life is the cat-and-mouse game I play with my student loan officer."

    Georgia Cummings
    Systems Analyst
  • "I can't wait to tell my loan officer that I'll be paying back my loan two weeks earlier than my previously stated goal date of never."

    Jeffrey Cain
  • "As this will inevitably entice many to purchase more education than they can afford, please let me know when I can buy one of those fancy educated brains at foreclosure."

    Robert Loehman
    Body Piercer