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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Studio Developing Female-Centered ‘Lord Of The Flies’ Remake

Warner Bros. is developing a female-centric adaptation of William Golding’s Lord of the Flies, about a group of schoolboys descending into savagery after being stranded on a remote island. What do you think?

  • “But if there aren’t any men on the island who are the girls supposed to fall in love with?”

    Jessica Elzie Deli Inspector
  • “I’m glad my daughters will be able to see that they too can serve as a microcosm of humanity’s failings.”

    Kyle Bornstein Shutter Operator
  • “That’s fine as long as Piggy still gets it.”

    Justin Sheff Sports Pathologist

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