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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Study: 20% Of High School Seniors Smoke Hookahs

A study in the journal Pediatrics found that one in five high school seniors smoked a hookah in the previous year and that white males from higher-income families were most likely to have used the water pipe. What do you think?

  • "Wow, white males from higher-income families are capable of making anything less exotic."

    Grace Vargo Systems Analyst
  • "Who can blame them, with all those bad boy Hollywood role models like Sydney Greenstreet and Gazanfer Özcan?"

    Kyle Sprouse Pet Inoculator
  • "High school seniors just keep getting cooler and cooler, don’t they?"

    Jennifer Korn Regional Shoplifter
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