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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Study: 95% Of People Don’t Wash Hands Correctly

A Michigan State University study, which observed 3,700 people washing their hands in public bathrooms, found that only one in 20 people wash well enough to kill bacteria and other germs, with the other 95 percent not using soap, not scrubbing for the recommended 20 seconds, or not washing at all. What do you think?

  • “I wash my hands when and how I want, and I don’t need some egghead telling me different.”

    Brian Warren Scientific Illustrator
  • “That’s strange. Usually I wash my hands longer whenever there’s a guy standing there with a clipboard and stopwatch.”

    Alvin Huffman Unemployed
  • “It’s amazing we’re all still alive.”

    Charlotte Reilly Probation Officer

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