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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Study: Americans Eat Half Their Meals Alone

According to a new market research report, 57 percent of all American meals are eaten alone, due in part to more people living in single-person households and to there being less stigma associated with eating alone. What do you think?

  • “There’s still plenty of stigma attached to eating alone when you do it the way I do.”

    Lindsay Schamus Coinstar Emptier
  • “When we’re at Wendy’s, are any of us truly alone?”

    Philip Doran Unemployed
  • “Glad to know I’m ahead of the curve on something.”

    Geoff Stier Poster Printer
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