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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Study: Average American’s Interests Have Practically No Influence On Government Policy

A new study has found that when taking into account the heavy power and influence of special interest groups and the economic elite in politics, the impact of an average citizen’s interests when it comes to determining policy is virtually nothing. What do you think?

  • “Those nice letters from my congressman are enough for me.”

    Daniel Koerper Payroll Coordinator
  • “I should be angry, but honestly, I’m pretty relieved the pressure is off.”

    Maggie Bernstein Coffee Grinder Supervisor
  • “They could’ve at least softened the blow by including some broad platitudes about how we’re still what makes this country great.”

    Kyle Sisk Laptop Duster
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