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Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Study: Brushing, Flossing May Prevent Heart Disease

Researchers at Columbia University found a link between regular brushing and flossing of the teeth and a slower rate of plaque buildup in individuals’ arteries, suggesting a lower likelihood of suffering a heart attack or stroke. What do you think?

  • “Yes! Another excuse to floss!”

    James Silverberg Security Guard
  • “I’ll floss when it results in something really special.”

    Ruby Milio Hairdresser
  • “I’ve been flossing since 1993. I’m going to live forever!”

    Anthony Powell Furniture Restorer

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