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After Birth

Kids Excited Mom Learning To Swear

PESHTIGO, WI—After a lifetime of assiduously avoiding the use of foul language, Helen Chernak, 59, is finally learning to swear, her delighted offspring reported Monday.

Parents Of Crying Child Must Not Be Any Good

WOODBURY, MN—Noting how the pair’s failure to promptly resolve the situation was a clear indication of their inability to raise or care for another human being, sources confirmed Friday that the parents of a crying infant must not be any good.

A Look At The Class Of 2020

This year’s incoming college freshmen will comprise the graduating class of 2020, with the majority of them born in 1998. Here are some facts and figures about these students and their worldview:

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run
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Study: Bullies Enjoy Pain Of Others

Brain scans showed activity in the pleasure centers of aggressive teens who were exposed to images of one person hurting another. What do you think?
  • "What kind of sicko has all these violent videos just lying around to show to teens?"

    Marilyn Burton Systems Analyst
  • "Sure, but they also responded positively to images of two grown, consenting adults making love."

    Todd Burke Exterminator
  • "Yeah, it's really funny when other people get hurt. Hey, you want a hertz doughnut?"

    Jeff Posdal Livery Cab Driver

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