Study: Childless Couples Have Happier Marriages

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.

Study: Childless Couples Have Happier Marriages

According to research from a British university, childless couples are happier with their relationships and feel more valued by their partners than couples that have children, with the results holding true for both heterosexual and homosexual couples. What do you think?

  • “My parents did always tell me I was the source of their unhappiness.”

    Phyllis Ireland
    Wax Pourer
  • “So that’s why barren women always look so happy.”

    Denny Duchesne
  • “What are you saying, Sheila? Are you saying you want a divorce?”

    Brian O’Hara
    Railroad Track Inspector