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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Study: Cities Have Unique ‘Bacterial Fingerprints’

A study that swabbed office buildings in major cities found that the bacterial profile of the swabs corresponded to their location, suggesting that cities each have their own “bacterial fingerprint.” What do you think?

  • “Man, is there anything swabbing can’t illuminate for us?”

    Robert Larson Salad Visionary
  • “I don’t need some fancy microbiome to tell me someone is from Boise.”

    Sam Balducci Band Namer
  • “Amazing. If I ever want to know what city I’m in, all I need is a microscope!”

    Phoebe McNamara Rebate Coordinator
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