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Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Study: ‘Cool Kids’ Struggle As Adults

According to a decade-long study that tracked hundreds of teenagers into adulthood, students who were considered “cool kids” in middle school turned out to have more problems as adults, such as substance abuse and criminal behavior. What do you think?

  • “I always thought most people struggled as adults.”

    Richard Mason Glass Buffer
  • “Maybe so, but Brian Seagil still drove his parents’ car around at 14, and nothing can take that away from him.”

    Elliott McFadden Mail Censor
  • “I still want my kids to be cool and admired by their peers. I don’t care what the consequences are.”

    Marsha Cummings Buffett Sampler
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