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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Study: Couples Who Throw Big Weddings Have Happier Marriages

A new study of married couples found that pairs who threw big weddings, defined as having 150 guests or more, reported having happier marriages than those who had weddings with 50 guests or fewer. What do you think?

  • “You can’t even put together a decent registry with 50 guests.”

    Danielle Vonn Urban Farming Expert
  • “Without a doubt, the more emotionally and financially entangled you are in your distant relatives’ lives, the happier you become.”

    Carter Benson Airport Shuttle Driver
  • “I hope this doesn’t encourage some couples to throw lavish wedding ceremonies beyond their financial means.”

    Rob Tollinger Suitcase Packer
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