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Study: Diet Soda Doesn’t Aid Weight Loss

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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
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Study: Diet Soda Doesn’t Aid Weight Loss

A recent study by Purdue University has found that, contrary to popular thinking, drinking diet soda doesn’t aid in weight loss, and that its consumption can actually increase the likelihood of obesity and development of precursors to diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and other ailments. What do you think?

  • “So what am I supposed to do now? I have to drink some kind of soda.”

    Alicia Wilde
    Oyster Washer
  • “Yeah, but look at all those flabby people guzzling from diet soda cans and tell me they’re not happy.”

    Gary Solowitz
    Systems Analyst
  • “Ha, my girlfriend’s going to be so pissed! As Coca-Cola’s vice president, she’s always getting mad about this kind of stuff.”

    Daniel Moyer
    Metalwork Expert

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