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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Study Disputes ‘Fat But Fit’ Claim

Challenging the idea that obesity is benign if the person is metabolically healthy, a new study in the Annals Of Internal Medicine has found that even if an obese person has normal blood pressure and cholesterol levels, they have a higher risk of dying from heart disease than those with a lower body mass index. What do you think?

  • “Why can’t the Annals Of Internal Medicine just tell me what I want to hear for once?”

    Dennis Curto Fitting Room Inspector
  • “Science has really been on a tear lately in terms of undermining what Uncle Marty says.”

    Melanie Swartz Waybill Clerk
  • “Might as well go the whole nine yards and just be fat and sedentary.”

    Ben Levine Assistant District Attorney
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