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Study Disputes ‘Fat But Fit’ Claim

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Report: Someone Needs To Get Chips And Dip Away From Area Man

EDISON, NJ—Repeatedly emphasizing that the ruffled potato chips and accompanying French onion dip were just too good, a report released Thursday confirmed that someone needs to get them away from local partygoer Ian Ashcraft before he eats the whole thing.

Obama Resigns From Presidency After Michelle Lands Dream Job In Seattle

‘It’s Time I Made Some Sacrifices For This Family,’ Reports President

WASHINGTON—Saying his wife of 24 years had already sacrificed so much for the sake of his career and that it was time to return the favor, Barack Obama announced Wednesday his resignation as president of the United States of America, effective immediately, following news that Michelle Obama had landed her dream job in Seattle.
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Study Disputes ‘Fat But Fit’ Claim

Challenging the idea that obesity is benign if the person is metabolically healthy, a new study in the Annals Of Internal Medicine has found that even if an obese person has normal blood pressure and cholesterol levels, they have a higher risk of dying from heart disease than those with a lower body mass index. What do you think?

  • “Why can’t the Annals Of Internal Medicine just tell me what I want to hear for once?”

    Dennis Curto
    Fitting Room Inspector
  • “Science has really been on a tear lately in terms of undermining what Uncle Marty says.”

    Melanie Swartz
    Waybill Clerk
  • “Might as well go the whole nine yards and just be fat and sedentary.”

    Ben Levine
    Assistant District Attorney

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