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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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Study: Dolphins Call Each Other By Name

According to a new study, dolphins call and respond to one another using distinctive, personalized whistles, suggesting the marine mammals use and recognize individual names for each member of their social group. What do you think?

  • “Can’t dolphins just let us have this one thing?”

    Colleen Stoltz Unemployed
  • “When they can’t remember some dolphin’s name, is there a whistle so they can call him Chief?”

    Steven Jolly Adjustment Clerk
  • “Gary Larson was right!”

    Drew Goline Golf Club Weigher

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