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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.

Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.
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Study: Earth In Middle Of ‘Sixth Extinction’

According to a new study published in the journal Science, earth is in the middle of its sixth mass extinction of biological life, which is being caused by human beings destroying habitats, disrupting climates, and killing wildlife. What do you think?

  • “Typical scientists, blaming everybody but themselves.”

    Patrick Weston Mortgage Rate Adjuster
  • “Don’t look at me. I compost.”

    Jennifer Houseman Typeface Setter
  • “We can stop this. Just tell me where to text.”

    Scott Richeson Bucket Stacker

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