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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Study: Fame May Shorten Lifespan

An analysis of obituaries appearing in The New York Times between 2009 and 2011 found that people who were classified as “famous”—such as sports figures and performers—lived, on average, several years fewer than those in other fields. What do you think?

  • “Good thing I’m culturally inconsequential!”

    Jaleel Bryson Lip Reading Teacher
  • “I have 243 Twitter followers. How long do I have?”

    Sophie Mashimo Textile Engineer
  • “Fuck.”

    Bruce Springsteen Musician

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