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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.
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Study Finds 1 In 8 Americans Abusing Alcohol

Warning that the situation is a worsening public health crisis on par with the opioid epidemic, a study has found that 1 in 8 Americans now suffer from alcohol abuse. What do you think?

  • “The first step to recovery is admitting your problem to statisticians.”

    Claire Stamatelaky Manuscript Disposer
  • “Did this study take into account how many of those surveyed can quit any time?”

    Alden Penfield Metric Converter
  • “On the plus side, that leaves 7 out of 8 Americans who should be available to designated drive this weekend.”

    Mike Deforest Systems Analyst

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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

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