adBlockCheck

Study: Firstborn Children Have More Ambition

Top Headlines

Recent News

Voyager Probe Badly Damaged After Smashing Into End Of Universe

PASADENA, CA—Confirming that several components had broken off the craft and that most of its scientific instruments were no longer operational, officials from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that Voyager 1, the pioneering space probe launched in 1977, had been severely damaged Thursday after crashing into the end of the universe.

Leaked Documents Reveal Studio Executives Knew About ‘Gods Of Egypt’ Before It Released Onto Public

SANTA MONICA, CA—Suggesting that the disastrous events of three months ago could have been averted, federal investigators stated Wednesday that a trove of leaked documents confirmed high-ranking studio executives had full knowledge of Gods Of Egypt long before the film was released onto unsuspecting Americans.Investigators described those who allowed such a screenplay to be carried out as “extremely sick and heartless individuals.”

Books Vs. E-Readers

Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Study: Firstborn Children Have More Ambition

A new study from the University of Essex has found that firstborn children are on average more ambitious and accomplished than their younger siblings, while firstborn girls are 13 percent more likely to pursue higher education than firstborn sons. What do you think?

  • “I like to think that I have equally low expectations of all my children.”

    Jonathan Rhodes Executive Producer
  • “I knew there had to be a scientific reason my sister has a job and I don’t.”

    Michael Atwater Unemployed
  • “As a second-born girl, I’d just like to say wooooo! Spring break!”

    Jennifer Gillen Marketing Liaison

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close