adBlockCheck

Recent News

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Study: Holy Water Unsafe, Full Of Bacteria

Austrian scientists tested holy water from 39 sources and found that all samples contained high levels of bacteria and would be unsafe to drink, with 86 percent of sources contaminated with bacteria common in fecal matter and many samples containing traces of fertilizer. What do you think?

  • “That’s nothing. I once bit into a communion wafer with a razor blade in it.”

    Roberto Esteban Concierge
  • “This just means some people will get to heaven faster.”

    Adeline Ward Calcine Furnace Tender
  • “Okay, fine, I’ll drink it.”

    Jack Overstreet Electrical Engineer

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close