Recent News

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Notable Female Writers Throughout History

Jane Austen died 200 years ago today, but she continues to be widely read and influential to today’s writers. The Onion highlights some of the most notable female authors throughout history.
End Of Section
  • More News

Study: Hot Water Not Better For Washing Hands

Researchers studying the effects of water temperature on hand-washing have found that hot water is no better at killing bacteria than cold water. What do you think?

  • “That’s nice, but I already have an opposing belief that hot water does work better.”

    Ashley Marks Horse Euthanizer
  • “Who am I going to trust, scientists or the Baskin Robbins employee orientation video?”

    Jerrod Lynch Baskin Robbins Cashier
  • “Hold on. Doing what with your hands?”

    Scott Patton Curriculum Censor

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.