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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Study: Infants Can Smell Mothers’ Fears

A new study has found that mothers can pass on fears to their newborn infants through odors that help to transmit old traumas, bad memories, and phobias, which teaches them about what to fear in the world. What do you think?

  • “I think I’m still going to make a list of everything my child should be afraid of, just in case.”

    Christine Fisher Unemployed
  • “That explains why my baby cries whenever he gets anywhere near emotional intimacy.”

    Debora Mann Tour Guide Trainer
  • “I hope this doesn’t lead to people blaming their mothers for their psychological issues.”

    Allan Naft Parole Officer

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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