adBlockCheck

Recent News

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
End Of Section
  • More News

Study: Kids Perform Better When Schools Ban Cell Phones

According to a new study from the London School of Economics, kids attending schools that ban cell phones during the day scored 6 percent better on tests than peers at schools that let kids have phones with them. What do you think?

  • “Don’t make my child choose between a quality education and top-tier content.”

    Bert Rowe Healer
  • “If I’m going to spend that much money on my kid’s iPhone 6, I expect him to flaunt it.”

    Ken Schmidt Systems Analyst
  • “Good luck. The last time I tried to take away my daughter’s cell phone, she bit me deep.”

    Jennifer Vargas Graphic Designer
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close