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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Study: Kids With Less Structured Schedules More Successful

According to new research, young children who are afforded more flexibility in their schedules to engage in open-ended, less supervised activities like reading and drawing develop better executive functioning skills than those with structured activities like piano lessons. What do you think?

  • “So piano lessons are why I’m a fuckup?”

    Gabrielle Shoker Assistant Principal
  • “Then my kids must be doing great, wherever they are right now.”

    Matt Lynch Furniture Resale Associate
  • “But rich kids are still better than poor kids, right?”

    Christopher Willis Programmer
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