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Study: Liberals Drink More Than Conservatives

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Report: Someone Needs To Get Chips And Dip Away From Area Man

EDISON, NJ—Repeatedly emphasizing that the ruffled potato chips and accompanying French onion dip were just too good, a report released Thursday confirmed that someone needs to get them away from local partygoer Ian Ashcraft before he eats the whole thing.

Obama Resigns From Presidency After Michelle Lands Dream Job In Seattle

‘It’s Time I Made Some Sacrifices For This Family,’ Reports President

WASHINGTON—Saying his wife of 24 years had already sacrificed so much for the sake of his career and that it was time to return the favor, Barack Obama announced Wednesday his resignation as president of the United States of America, effective immediately, following news that Michelle Obama had landed her dream job in Seattle.

High School Nurse Getting Pretty Good At Spotting Morning Sickness

FAIRFIELD, ME―Having seen more students than she can remember come into her office with complaints of nausea and vomiting over the years, Fairfield High School nurse Sarah Bromti told reporters Wednesday she’s getting to the point where she can identify morning sickness without much trouble.
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Study: Liberals Drink More Than Conservatives

A study published in the Journal of Wine Economics, which analyzed data from all 50 states for a period of 50 years, found that blue states drank more liquor and beer than states that leaned right. What do you think?

  • “I wonder if it helps them live with what they did at Benghazi.”

    Tony Pettini
    Youth Sports Organizer
  • “Oh, that’s just because liberals are sadder, happier, more social, less social, or bored.”

    Milena Whitakker
    Gallery Owner
  • “So sue us if we’re still celebrating the reelection of G. K. Butterfield of North Carolina’s first congressional district.”

    Gary Call
    College Bursar

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