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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Study: Life On Earth May Have Started On Mars

According to scientist Steven Benner, conditions on Mars 3 billion years ago were more conducive than those on Earth to creating one of the earliest molecules of life, RNA, and that meteorites may have transported these molecules to Earth’s surface. What do you think?

  • “The Lord works in mysterious ways.”

    Andre Crocker IT Specialist
  • “I’ll read that study only if it’s published in a mass-market glossy periodical with a hand-painted depiction of the Red Planet and the title ‘Is Mars Eden?’ in bold font.”

    Agatha Parnell Concierge
  • “My annoying platitude about us all being immigrants is even truer than I knew.”

    Sven Duncan Unemployed

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